Visit to Mary at Earlham College in Richmond, IN

Last weekend, my mom and I visited Mary at Earlham. The fall colors were breathtaking and the weather, while chilly for us native Texans, was sunny and bearable. First Mary took us on a tour of the campus of Earlham College. We particularly enjoyed seeing her loom set up for her current weaving project. It's beautiful, and we never realized Mary was so artistically talented.



After our tour of the campus, we took my mom out to eat at a French restaurant for her birthday dinner. The food was delicious, even if the staff was snooty. Then, we returned to the hotel, with Mary's computer, so that Mary could share her China pictures with Mamaw and tell her all about her summer work camp experience teaching conversational English to ethnic students in rural Hunang Province.



The next day, we visited Metamora, IN, a restored canal town. We visited several shops, buying chocolates at the candy shop, of course, and we rode the canal boat.



We ended the day with a trip to Glen Miller Park in Richmond, IN where we enjoyed the late-blooming roses (before they die after the freeze which we brought to Richmond) and more beautiful fall leaves.



Monday morning (and our departure) came too soon. What a great time we had visiting Mary!

Sarah's graduation weekend--May 8 - 9, 2009

Mamaw, Kevin, and I met Mary and Sarah in Atlanta for Sarah's graduation from Agnes Scott. We arrived Thursday, too late for the practice and microphone check for our part in the next day's Baccalaureate service, but with plenty of time to visit with each other and have Sarah show us her favorite store--the DeKalb's Farmer's Market

Friday evening, after the Baccalaureate, we walked around campus, admiring the new chapel, enjoying the new garden/meditation space,


and revisiting my "friend," Robert Frost.

Saturday morning was graduation. The weather threatened rain, but we ended up with clouds and breezes and only a few splatters of sprinkles. Sarah graduated cum laude with a Bachelor's Degree in History and minors in Psychology and Religious Studies.

Now one would think that we'd find ourselves enjoying a delicious meal after graduation, but instead we headed back to Sarah's apartment to help with clean up and packing. That way the girls could get on the road home right after church the next morning. With the whole family chipping in, Sarah's part (and more) of the clean-up was completed with enough time for Mary and her to enjoy dinner together and for Mamaw, Kevin, and me to go rest in the hotel room!

Wow! My sweet Sarah is a college graduate!

1st day of Greek

Today was the first day of Greek camp.
My friend Miranda sent me links to some videos for Greek:
Perhaps this will help me get ready to learn Greek:
All things are better in Koine

Maybe this will help me remember the Greek alphabet:
Greek Alphabet with a Beat

Or maybe this one will help me with the Greek alphabet:
Alphasong

Oops, neither song has all the letters pronounced correctly. Oh, well, I guess I'll have to go study the old-fashioned way.
;-)

What Does Your Future Hold?

I preached today at Austin Taiwanese Presbyterian Church for their English Ministry.

The sermon text is John 17: 6 - 20.

Some of you are about to finish (or just finished last night) a significant milestone in school. What does your future hold? Will you attend a different school with different classmates and different teachers? Will you be leaving home to study or to learn technical skills for a job? Will you be searching for a job? Change can be unsettling.

Others of you find yourselves in transitions of another kind. What does your future hold? Has the slow economy sent you in search of another job? Are you leaving this area for job opportunities elsewhere? Is your role in your family changing—to spouse? to parent? to “empty-nester”? to in-law? Do you find your mind, body, or spirit flagging? Change can be troubling.

What does the future hold for the ATPC English ministry? Your Pastor Nominating Committee has been searching for an associate pastor. The process is taking longer than anyone had expected. You’ve had disappointments along the way.
And while you wait to call an associate pastor, the work of the English Ministry continues. Your service to each other, the body of Christ, this church continues. Your mission to serve others outside this church continues. Your desire to learn and to grow in Christ continues. And because of the various job, school, and other personal transitions, there is a need for new leadership in worship, study, and fellowship here.

It’s troubling and confusing and a little frightening to face an uncertain future.

In John's gospel, chapters 13 - 17 (that's the big picture, the setting, for our text today), what began as a night of celebration is turning into a series of confusions. Jesus and the disciples are together in a room in the city of Jerusalem on the eve of the Passover celebration. Before beginning the meal, Jesus takes a basin of water and a towel. Kneeling before each disciple, one at a time, he washes their feet. Now this is the job of the lowliest of servants, but Jesus, their rabbi, their teacher, their leader kneels before each of them and washes their feet. How confusing! He tells them he is showing them his way of leadership. Leading through serving?

Next he says one of them, his close band of followers, will betray him. And he says Peter will deny him 3 times this very night. Now this is troubling!

He talks for awhile about loving one another, about sending an Advocate for them in his absence (his absence?), he talks about leaving them with peace (leaving them?). It is as if he is summarizing his entire ministry during this meal.

And now (in the passage we just read), he begins praying to God. The disciples overhear his petitions on their behalf. "Father, I remain in the world no longer. I am coming to you. Protect them.” They're thinking: What? Did Jesus just say he is going to be with God? What does that mean for us? It sounds like he’s leaving us. Why? What will we do without him? We’ve spent the last 3 years of our lives with him. We left our families and our professions to follow him. Can we return to our former livelihoods, to our families, now, 3 years later? What are we going to do? If the understanding that Jesus is preparing to leave them hadn’t hit them yet, it does now—in this prayer.

Unlike the disciples, we know when we hear this passage, that this is their last meal with him. When they leave this place, Jesus will be arrested. He will be tried and convicted. He will be nailed to a cross. He will die. Even for those of us who know how the gospel ends, this passage is troubling.

At this event, this last supper with Jesus, the disciples are facing an uncertain future. Their life, as they have lived it for the last 3 years is about to change—dramatically. What does their future hold? Naturally they are troubled; they are confused; and they are afraid.

In our text, Jesus is praying for his disciples. He knows his time on earth is about to end, and he is thinking about, worrying over, and praying for his disciples. In his prayer, he uses and re-uses language of possession. Please listen again- (NIV) “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me . . .They were yours; you gave them to me. I pray for them, . . . for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. . . They were yours. They are yours. All I have is yours.

Do you hear that possessive language? In this prayer, Jesus gives his disciples to God. For 3 years they were his disciples. They spent all their time with him. They ate, they drank, they slept, they worked, and they traveled with him. They heard his words. They witnessed his miracles. They tried to understand his teachings. They enjoyed this intimate relationship with him for 3 years, and now, Jesus is giving them to God. He is asking God to continue that intimate relationship with them. He wants their relationship with God to be as his relationship with God. He says it in his prayer “so that they may be one, as we are one.” And because Jesus is one with God, he knows God will answer his prayer. He knows God will wrap God’s loving arms around the disciples and keep them close like a hen who wraps her wings around her chicks and keeps them close to her.

How can the eavesdropping disciples know God will be with them? Well, they can look to the past. They can remember God’s faithfulness to the people of the covenant, their ancestors.

Abraham faced an uncertain future. God told him to leave the family he was born into, to leave his home, to leave the land where his flocks grazed and to go to a place God would show him. God promised Abraham a new life in a new land with a family of his own. Yes! God promised Abraham a child, even though he and his wife Sarah were way past the age of having babies. To leave what he knew, to follow God into the unknown—that’s an uncertain future. But Abraham trusted God, and God was faithful to the promise. God led Abraham to the new land and the new life God promised. God gave Abraham a child, Isaac, and through him so many descendants that they were like the stars in the night sky—uncountable. Abraham belonged to God, and God was with him.

Hundreds of years later, the Hebrew people were enslaved in Egypt. God told Moses to lead them out of Egypt. They faced an uncertain future in a different land. But, they trusted God and followed Moses. Like Abraham, they left what they already knew and followed God into the unknown. God was faithful and led them to a land “flowing with milk and honey.” The Hebrew people belonged to God, and God was with them.

Hundreds of years after that, the people of Israel, exiled in Babylon, faced an uncertain future. Separated from friends, separated from their homes in Judah, separated from the temple where they had worshiped God, these exiles heard God’s promise through the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah. God called them to return to Jerusalem, to rebuild the ruins of their city and to rebuild their lives. They belonged to God, and God was with them. (Isaiah 61: 1 - 4; Jeremiah 32: 36- 41)

Yes, if the disciples can recall their people’s past, they can remember God’s faithfulness to the covenant God made with their ancestors. They can remember God’s words in the past: To Abraham-- “I will bless you, in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (Genesis 12:3) To Moses-- “[these people] shall be my treasured possession out of all of the peoples.” (Exodus 19:5) to Jeremiah, "I will be their God, and they shall be my people." (Jeremiah 31:33) If only the disciples can remember that God has been faithful to the people in the past . . . But even if the disciples can't claim it, they still belong to God. God is still with them, even as they struggle with uncertainty and fear.

Events unfold quickly after Jesus prays this prayer. It turns out, this is their last meal with Jesus. When they leave this place, he is arrested. He is tried and convicted. He is nailed to a cross. He dies. And then, he beats death, for he is raised from the grave. They see him again--Mary Magdalene sees him in the garden of the empty tomb, some of them see him (and one of them, Thomas, touches him) in a locked room, some of them eat the fish he cooks for them on a beach.

And all of them are present on that day of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit blows through the room where they were meeting, alighting on them like tongues of fire and filling them with the strength, the courage, and the power to proclaim the good news of Christ’s life, death and resurrection. Now, they remember God's faithfulness to their ancestors in the past. Now, they see God's faithfulness to them in the present. Now, they know they belong to God, and God is with them.

Jesus’ prayer in this passage is for us now as well. In verse 20 he says: "My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message." We belong to God, and God is with us. How can we know this? Like the disciples, we can look to the past and remember God’s faithfulness to the people of the covenant, our spiritual ancestors. We can remember God’s faithfulness to Abraham, to the Hebrew slaves, and to the exiles. And we can remember God’s faithfulness to the disciples. God’s words of promise to them are God’s words of promise to us.

You belong to God. Wherever you find yourself--in another school, in another city, in another country; you belong to God, and God travels with you to this other place. Whatever different role you find yourself playing—student, job-seeker, spouse, parent, in-law, empty-nester; you belong to God, and God stands beside you in this new role. Whatever condition your body, your mind, your spirit is in; you belong to God. God is with you, strengthening you, healing you, empowering you.

We can also remember God’s faithfulness to us, in our own pasts. 23 years ago, God called 6 Taiwanese families living in the Austin area to worship together. That group became Austin Taiwanese Presbyterian Church. 10 years later, God called this church family to build these buildings to accommodate this growing congregation. A few years ago, God called the now-grown children of the first members and other young adults to form the English ministry of ATPC, this worshiping community. You are a vibrant and growing congregation, dedicated to study, worship, fellowship, and mission. God has been with you in your past. God is with you now. And God will be with you in the future.

As you continue to pray for this congregation’s future, Jesus prays with you, Jesus prays for you as he prayed for his disciples on the night of his last supper. God will answer Jesus’ prayer. ATPC English Ministry belongs to God, and God is with y'all. Trust that God is preparing you, this congregation, for the pastor God is planning to lead to you. Trust that even now, God is preparing that pastor for you.

Just as the Holy Spirit blew through the disciples and empowered them to proclaim the good news of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, the Holy Spirit empowers you to do the same, to continue God’s work here at ATPC. For you belong to God, and God is with you . . . always. Amen.

Our Wesley group's final project

I am got lucky and was assigned to a group with very creative people. Kelly wrote the words. Doug envisioned it and edited it. Lori filmed it. I got to be in it! Our project to summarize John Wesley's ecclesiology.

Walking the labyrinth at APTS--April 24, 2009

Friday, April 24, 2009 afternoon, Still Small Voice, the student group devoted to offering ideas, experiences, and discussions for spiritual practices, borrowed a 40-foot diameter portable labyrinth and placed it on the lawn between the chapel and the library. The wind blew, the clouds kept the sun from shining down too hot on us, and the birds sang to provide a peaceful setting for walking the labyrinth. Several of us started the path into the labyrinth around the same time. It was interesting how we walked at such varying paces that there was always room for each of us, in our space, to walk and ponder in silence and freedom. At one point, two came face to face, across a line, and spontaneously hugged each other and laughed. For my own part, I walked slowly, opening my mind and my heart to whatever God would provide.

When I reached the center clover, I decided to sit in each of the 6 six “leaves.” From my first seat, I looked at McCord, the building where we eat lunch together and where we studied Hebrew 8 hours a day in January. I thought about the seminary community, and how much I feel a part of it. From my second seat, I looked at McMillan, the building in which all of my classes, so far, have been held, and in which most of my professors have offices. Study is a big part of my life here. From my 3rd seat, I looked at the chapel. I attend chapel almost daily, worship was the class I was most passionate about last semester, preaching is the class that stirs me the most this semester. Worship calls to me. From the 4th seat, I looked at UT Austin campus. I remember, as an undergraduate there (many years ago) seeing the APTS campus. I thought it looked peaceful. I yearned to walk through the park and across the bridge on the lower campus, but I never did. I didn’t think I belonged here---then. From my 5th seat, I faced the library. I study there, in a carrel that looks out over the very lawn where the labyrinth was. Quiet, alone, study time has always been important to me. I am drawn to the library because of my past as a librarian, because I like quiet places, because I learned to love reading in an old library--The Brazoria County Library in Angleton, Texas. In the last seat, I faced the trees and parking lot between the seminary dorm and the Scottish Rite dorm. Am I in a parking lot right now? Getting my bearings? Making sure my vehicle is road-ready? Preparing for the adventure?

As I slowly walked out of the labyrinth, I reflected on the 6 views I had had. What a wonderful experience this labyrinth was!

My 2nd sermon in Intro to Preaching Class

This sermon is a lectionary sermon. As I understood lectionary preaching, I was supposed to pull in all of the lectionary readings--maybe not refer to them, but have them lurking in the background of the sermon.
The other lectionary texts for this Sunday were John 10: 11 - 18; Psalm 23, and Acts 4: 5 -12

A reading from the 1st epistle of John (I John 3: 16 – 24)
We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God's love abide in anyone who has the world's goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him.  And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us.

This is the word of the Lord.
(Thanks be to God.)


We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us. With the events of Holy Week still fresh in our minds, these words conjure vivid images. Jesus tied to a post—pain in his eyes, his body slumping a little lower with each lash of the whip. Jesus carrying the cross through winding, narrow streets—his raw shoulders and back sagging under the weight of the cross and the pain it’s inflicting. These words bring forth haunting sounds. The snap of the whip tearing his flesh. With each lash, a gasp from Mary Magdalene. The pounding of the nails; the thud as the now-lifted cross falls into its appointed slot. Rasps as Jesus struggles to breathe on the cross. His words “It is finished.” We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us.”

Yes, so soon after Holy Week, these words seem to evoke his painful death on the cross. Then the author of this epistle says “and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.” That makes me want to run away as fast as I can. I can’t answer that call to discipleship. Maybe you can, maybe not. To willingly, obediently, quietly endure a gruesome, painful, slow death? Why would God ask such thing of us? (pause) Does God ask this of us? Maybe we are not clearly seeing what is on the page.

Maybe we need to get our eyes checked, find out if the prescription in our spectacles (you remember Calvin and spectacles, don't you?) needs to be changed. Visit the optometrist, and let her pull what looks like a big viewfinder up to our eyes. One by one, she’ll flip a series of lenses. As she does, she asks through which lens in this pair are we seeing more clearly. She works with the left eye, then with the right eye. When she’s finished, as we look through the final set of lenses, we can we clearly read what’s on the bottom line of the eye chart—G-R-A-C-E. Yeah, maybe we need to get our spiritual eyes checked in order to better understand what this passage is telling us today.

The corrections to our prescription will include reading this passage through the lens of other scripture-- the complementary texts assigned for this Sunday in the lectionary. They include the Good Shepherd passage in the gospel of John, Psalm 23, and the account of Peter testifying before the Jewish religious leaders in the book of Acts. Speaking of the lectionary, our new prescription will correct for the lens of where we are in the liturgical year. And, our new prescription will account for understanding this passage through the lens of the Word, with a capital “W” –Jesus.

John tells us the Good Shepherd knows his sheep and they know him. Have you ever thought about how a shepherd watering his flock at the same watering hole as other shepherds can keep his sheep separate from those of the other shepherds? Well, he can’t. Those sheep intermingle with each other, pushing and shoving to get to the water. The shepherd just stands back and watches them all. But when he is ready to move his flock on, he gives a call, his signal. The sheep that belong to him recognize his voice. They leave the water, and follow the sound of his call. At night, he builds a sheepfold and lays himself across the opening so that the sheep can sleep safely. If someone comes to the gate of that sheepfold to lead them out, they won’t follow unless it’s their shepherd. They recognize him. They respond to his voice. The Good Shepherd knows his sheep, and they know him.

They know he will lead them to water and grass. They know he will walk slowly, so that they can keep up. They know he will build the sheepfold and will stay with them through the darkest part of night. They know he will be there when they wake up in the morning, ready to eat more grass and drink more water. They know he will spend his life with them.

Jesus says “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” There’s that phrase again. But here it’s in the context of relationship with his flock. The Good Shepherd will provide sustenance, care, rest, and protection for his flock. The good shepherd won’t run away when the wolf comes to snatch and scatter the sheep. And the sheep know that! The Good Shepherd remains in relationship with the flock no matter what happens. We are that flock! Even when the wolf of hunger, poor health, bad news, disappointment, poverty, or despair tries to snatch one of us or scatter us, the Good Shepherd is here, with us. He faces that wolf. He looks it in the eye and says, “You have to come through me before you can get to my sheep.” My sheep--we are those sheep.

According to the liturgical calendar, we are on the other side of Holy Week. Not only has Jesus died, but he has also risen from the grave. Death has no claim on him. During the last three weeks, we’ve read, pondered, and rejoiced over resurrection stories. Jesus appearing to Mary Magdalene, comforting her. Jesus appearing to a group of his disciples, who are huddled behind locked doors, dispelling their fear. Jesus walking with two of his followers, explaining the scriptures, telling why the Son of Man had to die, and breaking bread with them. Jesus grilling fish on the beach, waiting for his disciples to bring their boat back to shore. By now, the fourth Sunday of Easter, we know Jesus has risen. He has risen indeed! Death has no claim on him.

So, when we read “he laid down his life for us,” focus on the words “life” and “us.” Jesus spent his life in loving relationship with God. His love was active, visible, and tangible. It was not ethereal words or concepts to ponder, but actions to observe, to enjoy, and to participate in. He drew others into that loving relationship---especially those who thought they didn’t matter, those on the outside. “He laid down his life for us” means he spent his life loving God and loving others. We are those “others.” Jesus draws us into loving relationship with him and with God.

We are not called to willingly, obediently, quietly endure a gruesome, painful, slow death. Instead, we are called to spend our lives in loving relationship with God and with each other. “Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” We are called to love in active, visible, and tangible ways: to provide emotional, physical, & financial support for our seriously ill classmate; to fast from speaking to raise awareness of how our society and our church silences our GLBT sisters and brothers; to take lecture notes and outline assigned readings to share with our hospitalized classmate; to cook meals to feed our classmates with newborns.

Spending our lives seeking to invite others into relationship with God and with us requires energy. It requires creativity, courage, and love. It requires trust; trust in Jesus, our Good Shepherd, who promises to send us the Holy Spirit. She is the one who will sustain us. She is the one who will guide us. She is the one who will blow on the coals of the love that Jesus lit in our hearts. In the Acts passage, we see evidence of the Holy Spirit.

Peter stands before the Jewish high priests proudly testifying that the power of Jesus’ name has healed the lame man who begs at the gate of the temple. This is the same Peter who fell asleep in the garden when Jesus asked him to pray and keep watch. This is the same Peter who skulked around the edges of the fire in the courtyard. This is the same Peter who three times flatly denied any relationship with Jesus. But, here in Acts, Peter accuses the religious leaders, “You crucified Jesus of Nazareth, but God raised him from the dead.” Where did the faith to heal that lame man come from? Where did the courage to speak boldly? The Holy Spirit—the same Holy Spirit Jesus promises to send to us.

“We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us--and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. . . And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us.” Laying down his life for us, is about living, not dying. Laying down our lives for one another is also about living. It's about living in community not isolation. This call is a call to relationship. We need not fear this call. Instead, we can be assured that God has given us proof that our Good Shepherd is with us. God has given us the Holy Spirit who gives us the strength, the courage, and the wisdom to lay down our lives for one another—to love one another.

Context: my classmates--hence the reference to Calvin & spectacles, the reference to liturgical year/lectionary, and the examples of helping classmates.

Changes I would make: Stick with just the "laid down his life for us" and the "lay down our lives for one another" theme. Don't try to weave in an explanation of the Holy Spirit's aid in that. So, I would cut the next to the last and the next to the next to the last paragraphs---bringing in the Acts reading of the lectionary. I would also cut re-reading verse 24--"And by the is we know . . . " in the last paragraph.

What do *you* think?

Labyrinth experience

The institutional focus here at seminary is academics. There are no APTS courses in spirituality or spiritual formation. So, to feed my soul here at school, I am in a spiritual direction group and I try to attend the monthly events offered by the student group, Still Small Voice--whose goal is to provide students various opportunities to find, experience, and share spiritual practices.

Last Friday, Still Small Voice provided a brief talk about labyrinths. Afterwards, four of us drove to the nearest labyrinth, at Hyde Park Christian Church to walk their labyrinth.



In our talk about labyrinths, the facilitator had suggested using the walk into the center of the labyrinth to think about what is weighing you down and why. Once in the center, think about Christ, the Light of the World, and bask in his love. Let go of whatever has been your burden. Now that you have shed your burdens, walk out of the labyrinth thinking about sharing Christ's light with others.




As I walked into the labyrinth, on my journey toward the center, there was a point when it seemed as if I was almost at the center, then the twists and turns took me away from the center. I thought about how my spiritual journey has mirrored that experience. I've felt like I'm on the right track and getting closer to being in sync with God, and then something happens, and it seems as if I'm moving away from instead of toward God. Just as in the labyrinth though, if I continue my journey, even when it seems as if I'm forcing myself, I find myself in the Light of Christ. Sometimes I would be walking parallel with, though not in the same path as, one of my classmates. I was reminded that often we share part of our spiritual journey with others, but it's not the same spiritual journey and there will be times when we reach a bend that takes us away from each other for awhile.






As I was coming into the center, one of my classmates was on her way out and we met briefly. I thought about how sometimes we meet someone ever so briefly on our spiritual journey. We may think that we'll walk together for awhile, but we don't have "awhile" to walk together. We waited outside the labyrinth and quietly welcomed each other as each of us completed the labyrinth. Perhaps, at the very end of our spiritual walks, we'll be doing the same--waiting for our friends, ready to welcome them into glory.


Afterwards, we had supper together--talking, eating, laughing, and lamenting our first year here at seminary. A labyrinth and table fellowship---all in all, a great way to spend a Friday afternoon and evening.

Introduction to Preaching--1st sermon

This is my first sermon for my Introduction to Preaching Class.

A reading from the gospel of Mark (chapter 1 verses 40 - 45) (NIV)

A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured. Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning: "See that you don't tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them." Instead he went out and began to talk freely, spreading the news. As a result, Jesus could no longer enter a town openly but stayed outside in lonely places. Yet the people still came to him from everywhere.

This is the Word of the Lord. (Thanks be to God.)


Alone, alone, alone.

Eighteen-year-old Joanna and her parents communicate in verbal spars and glaring silent looks. They cannot seem to agree on any of the essentials in their family life. Her parents refuse to give her any of the independence she desires. In turn, she refuses to follow their rules without questioning. So her parents have asked her to move out. She leaves her small-town home and moves to the big city where she works and tries to finish up her senior year in high school. She is alone.

Ben, a professional educator and father of two young children finds himself always busy. Busy at work-- with lesson plans, research and writing. Busy at home--co-parenting his children and trying to maintain a good marriage. Busy at church-- with Sunday school, Session, and lay leadership. He just doesn’t seem to have the time and energy for any personal time with God. Even with people around him all day long, sometimes he feels alone.

Alison, a seventh grade girl watches as one by one, each of her friends walks past her and sits at a table on the other side of the school cafeteria. None of them have spoken to her in class for the last two days. She wonders why they have left her alone.

Do you know any of these people . . . or someone like them? Have you ever experienced what they are experiencing? Separation--Separation from family, separation from friends, separation from community, separation from God.

The leper in our text experienced separation--separation from community. According to the purity code in Leviticus, once his leprosy was discovered, he had to be expelled from civil and religious society. No longer could he pray in the temple or go to the synagogue with his friends. No longer could he share meals or living quarters with his healthy relatives. He had to live outside of the village--no one to talk with, no one to eat with, no one to hold onto. Cast out of the community, he is alone.

But he didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to be restored to his family and his community. So, in our text, he approaches Jesus, this rabbi who did not turn away at the sound of “unclean, unclean” or the sight of his torn clothing and disheveled hair. He approaches Jesus and he begs him on bended knee.

“If you are willing, you can make me clean.” The leper recognizes Jesus is his chance for restoration.

Mark tells us Jesus was filled with compassion. He reached out and deliberately touched the man. He touched this man, who had been denied the feel of another person’s skin. Jesus touched the leper and said, “I am willing. Be clean.”

When he touched him, Jesus broke down walls: walls that had been carefully constructed hundreds of years ago in that Levitcal code, walls that had been meticulously maintained by priests and other religious leaders ever since. No longer would this leper be closed off from others. He was restored--restored to community, restored to friends, restored to family--because Jesus had touched him.

About a year after she leaves home, Joanna’s parents reach out to touch her. They’ve decided to redefine “essentials” as listening with an open mind; as accepting Joanna as an independent person; as supporting her physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Joanna responds to their touch by trusting that they really do want to understand her and show her they love her, by acknowledging she can use their help, by accepting that help without looking for a catch, by coming home and being welcomed back into the family.

At his local bookstore, Ben finds a devotional book with a lectionary reading and a brief meditation for each day. It isn’t easy to get up 30 minutes earlier each morning, but he decides to begin each day with prayer and the devotional, on a trial basis, to see if it will begin to soften this hard place in his heart, to fill the hole in his soul. At first, his prayers are stilted and forced, but he perseveres daily. Within a few months, he realizes he is experiencing peace despite his busy days. His prayers are heartfelt and free. He feels God’s presence with him in times of distress as well as in quiet moments. His heart is softening, and that hole in his soul is mending.

Alison’s “friends” continue to shun her. Her mom drives her to and from school, since she no longer has a walking buddy. The two of them talk about how it feels to be cast out for no reason. Alison finds other people to eat lunch with, to talk to in class--new friends. She grows up, and as an adult, she finds herself conscious of those on the outside, left out, alone. She has a heart for inclusion, so she develops skills for inviting others into conversations, activities, and friendships.

When we are separated by barriers of whatever design and whoever’s construction, the Holy Spirit touches us, and we are restored. We pray or someone prays for us, and the Holy Spirit moves in our lives. Joanna’s grandparents prayed for Joanna and her parents. The Holy Spirit touched their hearts, and ultimately, their family was restored. Ben’s wife prayed for Ben. The Holy Spirit planted the seed for a morning devotional ritual. And Ben’s relationship with God, his spiritual life, was restored. Alison’s mother prayed for Alison. Through this junior high crisis, the Holy Spirit breathed compassion for others into Alison’s heart. Years later, she is an agent of restoration in other people’s lives.

Alone? Alone? Alone? Friends, we are not alone. For, in life and in death we belong to God. And nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Hallelujah.

(The grader suggested I remove the next to the last paragraph--barriers . . . Holy Spirit because I'm explaining too much. He said let the stories and their ending do the explaining. I agree with that, however I felt it was important to talk about the Holy Spirit's action in restoring us. Perhaps a good compromise would be to have just the first 2 sentences of that paragraph and omit the specific explanations of how the Holy Spirit worked in the 3 persons' lives.)

Peace, ML

Halfway through the 1st semester

This is from an email I sent my RRISD friends in October 2009: (Thank you, C. E. for finding it for me.)

I'm halfway through my first semester in seminary and enjoying Fall Break.  I think I needed it.  Last week, mid-term week, I had a test or a paper due in each of my classes.  The upperclass-persons (who had been through their own tough midterm week their first year) encouraged us and prayed for us.  And . . .  we made it to Fall Break!

I love the librarian, Lela Parish.  She offers mini-classes at lunch time each week to introduce us to the library:  library, online databases, academic honesty, MLA notation, etc.  Surprisingly it's the older (40s and 50s) students who come to these--and only a few of us fit that category. I like attending these because I feel at home with the library/librarian, I get to know some of my classmates better, and I can use all the help I can get!  



I have my own "study carrel" in the library --- top floor, at a desk that looks straight out the window and into a courtyard with trees.  (Betsy, you contributed something important to my cubbyhole!)  I have pictures of my family, a lamp, a sweater, a blanket [yes, it gets cold in there, even without Julie manning the thermostat ;=)  , and a crate to prop my feet on for the long stretches of reading! I just have turned it into my own little space.  Imagine me making myself at home in the library!

I suspect Sharon Taylor shared with you all that the closing on our house *did* go through as planned.  We are ever so blessed to have sold the house in this particular economy and housing market.  Many thanks to Sharon and Charles for all of their help---and to those of you who kept us in your prayers.  

Mary and Sarah are doing well at Earlham and Agnes Scott, respectively.  Each of them seems to be in just the right place.  Mary has found a group of people as politically-minded as she and is keeping informed and volunteering for the upcoming election.  Sarah is trying to make decisions about next year--graduate school?  Her mentors at Agnes Scott are highly encouraging her to be a part of the Presbyterian Church Young Adult Volunteer program and volunteer either in the US or overseas for a year in an established Presbyterian mission program.  I think that she's leaning towards that.  I just hope she applies for a "safe" place.

Kevin is growing in his skills as a hospital chaplain (South Austin Hospital) and is still working part-time for Hospice Austin.  He likes living on seminary campus and has a writing project for which he'll need to use the campus library.  He also is beginning the necessary steps for chaplain certification.  So, everyone in my family is testing, writing, and studying.  

This is definitely where I'm supposed to be at this time, but I still miss y'all-- your smiling faces, your words of encouragement, your senses of humor, your sage advice.  

I hope to attend Old Town's 20th anniversary, so perhaps I'll see you soon.  If you're ever near W. 30th Street, come see me!  I'll show you around the campus and the other sights to see/experience down here.

My "first" sermon at Grace

This is the sermon I preached at Grace on 2/15/2009
It is the first time I preached as a seminarian and the 2nd sermon ever.
(I "preached" once at Grace about 8 years ago--when we were about 60 members large and still meeting in the garage of the church house. Actually, I read a great children's book and talked about how it's main character, a young boy taking care of sheep, was a metaphor for God taking care of us.)

Lectionary reading for this Sunday was:
Old Testament Reading II Kings 5: 1 - 14
New Testament Reading Mark 1: 40 - 45

I remember, as a child, hearing this story about Naaman. I liked it then, and why not? It has water (and back then, I loved swimming); it has a miracle healing, and it has a young heroine--the young girl servant from Israel. We don’t know her name, and she’s in the story only briefly, yet she plays a crucial role in this story. It is she who calls attention to Naaman’s problem-- speaking the words that identify his skin disease--and it is she who directs Naaman to the solution--he can be healed by the prophet in Israel’s capital, Samaria. She says, “If only my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria. He would cure him of his leprosy.” Do you hear the faith and certainty her voice?
Heeding his servant girl's advice, Naaman goes to Israel, looking for the prophet--seeking the cure. Ultimately, he arrives at Elisha’s place. Now Elisha does not even come out to meet Naaman, but sends a message to him--take 7 dips in the Jordan River "and your flesh will be restored, and you shall be clean." At first, Naaman refuses. How dare Elisha not even come out to meet him--he, Naaman, the great general of the mighty and victorious army of Aram. And how dare Elisha send him instructions to go bathe in some dirty Hebrew river. A great commander like himself should be the recipient of some lavish healing ceremony, presided over by the prophet himself. Ah, now we see that perhaps Naaman suffers from 2 diseases: the skin disease--leprosy, and the soul disease--pride. He is about to storm off because his pride has been offended. It's as if his sense of entitlement is blinding him and paralyzing him. He no longer recognizes his need for healing and he's stopped in his tracks--no longer moving toward the one who can heal him.
Has this ever happened with you? Have you ever let something come between you and the one who can heal you? Have you ever let pride or guilt or shame cut you off from our God who is always seeking relationship with you, our God who is always seeking to heal you of your broken-ness, our God who is always seeking to cleanse you?

The writer of a devotion I read this week says because Naaman "had already decided for himself how his healing should take place, he came very close to missing out on his healing altogether.” It’s like saying, “God, I have a better idea about how to solve my problem. I realize you are all-knowing and can see the big picture, while I am aware of only that which is around me---and not even all of that. But, my idea---is better than yours. Let's handle my concerns about my grade, about my class, about my boyfriend, about my girlfriend, about my job, about my health, about my marriage . . . Let's handle my concerns my way.
Naaman is about to storm off--and not be healed--when another servant speaks up. “Father, if the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it? How much more, when all he said to you was, ‘Wash and be clean?’” Did you notice how the servant addressed Naaman as “Father”--instead of “Lord” or “Master”? He diverts Naaman’s thoughts from his greatness by referring to him using a family term. This family language, "father" makes me think of relationship. Approaching concerns with my pride leading me, with an attitude of entitlement, is not going to foster relationship with those I find myself in conflict with. And relationship, particularly loving relationship, is what God is all about.




Naaman's servant calls Naaman back to the reality of his sickness by using relationship language. Naaman reconsiders his decision to storm off, and makes his way to the Jordan River where he dips 7 times. He goes under the water. He has to stoop. He has to bow down. He has to crouch real low to get completely submerged. He probably scrapes his knees. He probably gets silt all over himself. 7 times--and each time he goes under the water, he sheds a little more of his pride. When he finally emerges from the river, he is healed. The scripture reads, “His flesh was restored like the flesh of a young boy, and he was clean.”
Naaman was healed in two different ways. Not only was his skin healed, but also his soul was healed--when he shed his pride and put on humility. When he accepted God’s solution (dip in the Jordan River 7 times), he got the healing he really needed--release from the chains of pride, release from the bondage of entitlement. With that healing, the healing of his soul, he could be truly grateful for the other healing--the healing of his leprosy.

The leper in our gospel reading today approached Christ differently from the way Naaman approached Elisha. The gospel says the leper kneeled and begged Christ. His knees were probably scraped, and he probably got dirty as he knelt before Christ, the living water. The leper said, "if you choose, you can make me clean." No "I am entitled to this" attitude. He knows his healing is totally dependent on Christ, entirely dependent on Christ's decision. Interestingly, he says, "you can make me clean." The word translated here as "clean" from the Greek can mean to cleanse as in "to make whole," it can mean to cleanse as in "to heal" or it can mean to cleanse as in "to make ritually clean". It's as if the leper is saying, Jesus, I know it's your choice whether to cleanse me, I know it's your choice how to cleanse me, and I know it's your choice what kind of cleansing to offer me--whether it's physical healing or relational wholeness. And I'm leaving all of that up to you, Jesus. What a contrast from Naaman .



Both this leper and Naaman are thrilled to be healed, and both want and need to express their thankfulness. Like the psalmist we heard earlier today, (Psalm 30: 2-3, 12) they are compelled to praise God. Naaman says “Now I know that there is no God in all the earth except in Israel.” Mark's gospel tells us that the leper told everyone he met, "he went out and began to proclaim it freely, spreading the word". Each of them knows he has been healed by the grace of God.
It’s only with humility that we can be truly thankful for what we have. It’s only when we acknowledge we deserve nothing from God, that we can recognize the blessings God has bestowed on us as blessings. What good we receive, God gives to us out of love and grace.
This week, I found myself wrestling with this sermon--first wrestling with what to say and then wrestling with how I, too, was suffering from leprosy of the soul. This week, I found myself reacting to situations at school in a prideful manner, approaching issues with an attitude of entitlement. My relationship with God has been rocky this week as I refused to let go of "how I would have handled this," as I refused to stop thinking of "what I'm entitled to." When I finally began to shed my pride, when I finally began to put on humility, I was able not only to see the (many) blessings around me, but also to recognize the obstacles in front of me as opportunities for growth. I'm reminded of H __ C__ saying, "There is no comfort in your growth zone, and there is no growth in your comfort zone." There's a reason for my discomfort right now. God is growing me.
I don’t deserve to go to seminary. It is a gift from God to help me answer my call from God. My experiences at seminary--academic and relational, are opportunities for learning and for growth to prepare me for this call. I don’t deserve Kevin’s love and support--they are gifts from Kevin. I didn’t earn the right to preach here at Grace. This opportunity is a gift from our pastors and from the Session. I haven’t earned your support, your care, or your love. Your open hearts, your smiles, your encouraging words and your prayers are gifts from you. Rising from the cleansing water, I can recognize and appreciate these gifts, these blessings.
Let us pray.

A sad day

Originally posted Monday, March 9, 2009:
Today we received news that 8 of our wonderful seminary staff are casualties of the awful economy. We will miss them terribly, and we pray that they will each find positions where their uniqueness, creativity, compassion, and hard work-ethic will be appreciated.

Hebrew--January term 2009

From an email sent to RRISD friends January 16, 2009

Hi, Friends,

Tonight, I am taking a break from my Hebrew studies (long weekend and we had a test today) and thought I'd email you.

This has been my schedule (and will continue to be throughout January): Up at 6 am, devotional (keeping me sane), eat, get ready for class, study, walk the dog, go to class for 4 hours, come home to walk the dog & eat lunch, go to study hall until right before supper, when I walk the dog, cook & eat supper, go to study hall until 9:30, come home make vocabulary cards, study, go to bed. Recycle for the next day. (Study hall=work with classmates on homework which we can do *only* as a group as it seems only one brain is not enough to figure all this stuff out.)

It *is* intense right now, but I am officially halfway through it. The best thing about Hebrew is that I'm building relationships with my classmates. We struggle over the language in class and out of class in study hall. We cry, we laugh, we swear (we made up a Hebrew swear word), we go bonkers--all together! After a mentally grueling 2nd week (and a particularly difficult homework the night before---think of 40 minutes per sentence of translation, 5 sentences to translate--and this is with us working together trying to figure out the words), we basically lost our marbles for about 30 minutes last night while we were studying for our test. After our good laugh/cry, we found those marbles and went back to studying.

The seminary is very supportive--wanting us to pass. They have provided 5 Teaching Assistants for our class of 40 (1 for each of 4 "sections"--meet for 30 minutes after class to go over the lecture and ask questions-- and 1 to work with those students who are having a particularly hard time--like Karen B does for OTE students) and often the TAs NOT on duty at study hall show up to help us--even though they don't get paid if it's not their day to do study hall. Our professor has shown up both Thursday evenings before our Friday tests, checking on us, boosting our morale and answering questions. We study in the cafeteria. We need to have access to food!

It *is* hard, but there will be some reward when I am able to read scriptures in Hebrew and see the nuances in the language. Our professor read Genesis 1: 1 -3 to us this week and then began to translate--starting with "As God was creating" instead of "In the beginning". He said that reading/interpreting the text this way indicates that we are invited into relationship with God at the very moment God was creating--that's how much God loves us--very powerful to me. Today he talked about how the Hebrew people viewed this language as a gift from God. They understood that it was a hard language, but that made sense to them. If it was easy, it would be from humans. They felt gifted that God would allow them to try to understand God's language.

So, I'm looking at this experience through the lens of gratitude--that I have this opportunity, that my acquaintances are becoming close friendships, and that (hopefully) this will be a door to understanding the texts and consequently sharing that understanding with others.

By the way, I suspect I'm gaining the reputation in this neighborhood (off- campus area where I walk the dog) of being the crazy lady who talks gibberish to herself since I use dog-walking time to review---the Hebrew alphabet, vowels, conjugating verbs, reciting pronouns, pronominal suffixes, performatives and afformatives, etc. But can I sing those suffixes!

Peace,
Mari Lyn

End of Fall 2008 term

From an email sent to RRISD friends December 18, 2008

I thought I'd send a note to mark the end of my 1st semester in seminary. This has been a good semester for me. I had much trepidation and concern over the decision to leave RRISD--librarianship, teaching, friends, the known--and to go to seminary--the unknown. Some of you will find this hard to believe, but I was one of the shy, quiet students early on. But, I've
come out of my shell and begun to feel comfortable enough to ask questions and to contribute in class. Study groups, peer editing papers, eating lunch in the dining hall regularly, and getting to know my new (on-campus) neighbors all helped.

The last 3 weeks were tense and intense. But, just like at mid-term, I survived! I did well in 2 classes, (the ones I've received papers and tests back). I was doing well in the other 2 classes up to the final, and I felt confident about those finals, so . . . I'm hoping my grades will reflect my confidence in those classes as well.



Sarah arrived home Monday evening, and Mary flies in tomorrow evening. I'm looking forward to spending the next 2 weeks with my girls, Kevin, and my mom. Then, January 5 I begin intensive Hebrew for "January term". My "upperclassmen" friends (who have already taken Hebrew) told me I will live, breathe, sleep, and eat Hebrew. With that kind of intensity, I sure hope I learn it, too. ;=)

Thank you for inviting me to Old Town's 20th anniversary. I wanted to be able to visit Old Town without imposing in any way on the new librarian. Thank you also for inviting me to the librarians' Christmas book exchange/party where I got to speak librarian-ese again ;=) We have a wonderful public services librarian here--teaching lessons on using the Ebsco databases, academic integrity--citing sources--how to get reliable info on the web--I felt right at home in her sessions!

I wish you all a wonderful holiday, time to relax and be renewed, time to enjoy your families.

As for me . . . I'm about to take the first in a series of practice Bible content exams on the internet. I take it (Bible Content Exam), the first of my 5 required exams for Presbyterian ordination, in February. (And since my brain will be Hebrew mush in January, I'm taking the practice test now.)

Peace to you all,
Mari Lyn

1st update from seminary: early fall 2008

From an email I sent to RRISD friends September 20, 2008:

I just finished my 3rd week of classes and I'm still in seminary. They haven't kicked me out yet for heresy. (I'm keeping quiet.) I'v onley hadd won test (2 daze ago), so they hav'nt had the oppertoonity to re-think there decizhun to admitt mee in the firste plase.

I have 4 classes, and I'm enjoying all 4 of them, but from different perspectives. While others find the church history (apostolic age to reformation, 1650) to be somewhat dry, I'm relishing both the stories and the facts--names, dates and places. Our Old Testament class is stretching me--my time and my mind. Along with reading the Old Testament (Genesis through Judges so far), we're also reading 2 different texts which shed light (or are supposed to) on the history of the literature, the culture in which it was written, etc. One of the texts is actually fascinating, but the other one (copyright 1973) refers to "recent" scholarship in the 1930s. zzzzz You Language Arts teachers will appreciate our search for clues about the genre of various passages and none of you will be surprised that I had my hand up (in the small discussion section--I keep my mouth shut in the big classes---yes I do.) constantly asking for those clues. How else would I be able to figure this stuff out on my own in the future? Yes, I'm still detail-oriented.

In both our worship and theology classes, the profs are stressing the big picture/conceptual thinking. Our theology prof read an Everybody book in class yesterday which he felt illustrated something about the glory of God as John Calvin attested. (Bagels from Benny) At the end, he teared up and had to collect himself before proceeding. Sound familiar? I much preferred that to reading John Calvin and Thomas Acquinas (Yes, we've been studying a Catholic theologian in a Presbyterian seminary.) Talk about obtuse. Those guys are obtuse--most of the time. But, it's cool when our prof points out Calvin's maternal images of God. (Hmmm, did John Calvin set the stage for feminist theology 400 years in the future?) We are also reading texts from theologians in this century--connecting our Reformed tradition to Liberation Theology, Feminist Theology, and Womanist Theology (and yes, I really enjoy those texts.)



We got moved into our seminary apartment in early August, and it's great to be on campus. We have a buyer for our house and expect/hope to close at the end of the month. I am typing this to y'all from my (Apple) laptop sitting in my swing among some of my plants transported from my backyard. The other residents in our building (affectionately called "the bombshelter" due to its cinderblock construction from the 1950s) are enjoying my "garden". One is looking into getting an outdoor fire pit to burn logs in this the winter, so we can use this garden area year-round as a community space.



Speaking of my swing--I was sitting in it when I first "heard" the call to go to seminary back in summer 2007--Last weekend, I met with the Committee on Preparation for the Ministry and have been approved by them to become on Inquirer. That's the first step in the ordination process in the Presbyterian Church. Seminary (education) and Ecclesial (ordination) preparation are 2 separate (but parallel) tracks I have to follow for the next 3 years.

Well, I hope I haven't disappointed anyone who was hoping I'd learned to write brief emails with this lengthy discourse.

I'm very close to UT, so you're welcome to come visit anytime you're in the UT area.